@25...Here I am...This is me..!!!

Gosh!!! You turned 25…Shounak Banerjee…happy b’day to you!!!

I’ve thought so many times over the last year about this particular blog post. About what I’d say and how I’d feel. I didn’t realize it would be quite this emotional.

For once in my life, it seems that words aren’t quite adequate. I have so much I want to communicate, and yet I’ve rewritten these first couple of sentences a dozen times already.

I should start by looking at that list which I wrote back when I was just 24, to see how many things I’ve managed to tick off. After all, that was kind of the point of this blog.

But you’ll remember, dear Reader, that I take exception to the word “should”. And besides, even though I’ve achieved almost all of my original goals, somehow that doesn’t seem quite as important any more. I had questioned myself at 24 “So why not take an experimental (rather than an existential) view of life and ask the far more important question – what do I want to do here?” (http://addadilse.blogspot.com/2010/11/24the-question-is-why-am-i-here.html)

As I think about my birthday, I realise that my feelings about the last few days echo my feelings about the last year in general, and indeed my life so far.

I took a brave decision to come out of my previous job as it was IT and I wanted to be in core. Now it feels great to live my dream. I am doing what I love and getting handsomely paid for it, really sums up the satisfaction.

My mental strength helped me get over with my past and now I have even learnt to hit back at others. Offence is the best form of defence. And it’s better to face a problem than to ignore it!!!

Of course, I’ve also got friends to see and a birthday night doing a night shift at my office with two rats to accompany me. But then, there’s always something to do, isn’t there?

Looking back over the two and half decades I’ve spent on this earth, there have been a lot of achievements that I’m proud of. I would say that I’ve lived my life to the full, and have no regrets that start with “I wish I had…”

The trick is to carve out those bits of time where you can achieve the goals that mean something, that are just for you, otherwise you can end up just surviving rather than really living.

And yet the most important element of my life is the people who I’ve known and loved and been loved by...

So thank you to all of you who have got me to where I am today. I couldn’t have done it without you – I wouldn’t want to have done it without you – and I am so excited about all the years we have to share together in the future.

cheers!!!

With LOVE!!!

Dear .....

   Princess of my loneliness, how you come and go, without warning. You slip through my broken window seals. You drift lazily under the doors—your own brand of chill, in no hurry to move on. When you settle in, Melancholy, you settle in. I hear there are houses and hearts that you do not haunt.

“On The Verge, Or, The Geography of Yearning”—the test I am in—was supposed to be over this week. There have been frustrating technical difficulties, and my success has been postponed. Oh, the things I could write, the things I could say, of the hours and hours of work. I have loved working with my colleagues. I have loved working as a challenger again. But there is only so much we can control. I suppose it is an exercise in the art of zen, recognizing this—recognizing that the effort may fail despite the fact that we have worked as strenuously and as passionately and as enthusiastically as we know how. We cannot do it alone.

This office is  same as my school or college used to be.We are sitting on our back steps. I am leaning on his(melancholy) lap, and his arm is around me. We look alike.

This week, had my 4th Anniversary, but now, she is not with me.People leave us and go away, without even caring for once..

    So I have a new valentine  now..and her name is melancholiness...I have the new song from the movie AUTOGRAPH in my lips..."Amake Amar moto THAKTE DAO...AAMI NIJEKE NIJER MOTO GUCHIYE NIYECHI..."

I cannot think of a more melancholy song, especially for a lonely person like me.

I tried so many times to call her, but she never responded....   

I wish she had said something. There are so many things I wish she had said, and not said....

But I am my own funny valentine, always and forever, world without end...

As one day I told my colleague Prnks while trying to understand a little bit of programming in J2EE...

“The cookies have walnuts,” . “Just…so you know....Duniya hai Gol..aur...TV...” I sounded absurd, as ever, to her. Cloying. Ridiculous. Insane.

“Thanks,” she said...

There is not much to say, beyond that.

         The tears come unexpectedly today. Another long night of rehearsal, a dress rehearsal, lies ahead. Until then, I struggle with bills, with student loan issues, with a half-hearted piece of writing at another venue, with the physical distance between me and a dear soul who is just beginning to learn to navigate my melancholy(I hope so). I struggle to understand how the past can hold so much blood, how the past can keep bleeding into my present. The future is very hard for me to see. I want to see it. But I do not feel lucky. I feel like I will be punished for any new happinesses, for any new hopes.

I do not enjoy this expansion. I would prefer my heart to take up a new motto: “Out with the old, in with the new.” “Time heals all wounds.” “No past, no future, only now....”

With LOVE,

Yours trully,

Shounak....

tht stupid day of d year!!!

Again tht stupid day wen u can listen to"MERI DESH KI DHARTII",REPUBLIC PUJA.Today is the day wen the tricolour gets hoisted by"USELESS JERKS" and we sing or rather are forced to sing our national anthem.lolzzz....Remember today is d day wen all d cheaters became eminent people of the society and d system became a republic run by cheats! by d way I hv my share of alcohol today.those who haven't,enjoy d DRY day!!!

Breaking News:Life now costs less than food!!!

Is it possible to be alone amidst the crowd of your memories…The question arises of wanting to be a simple man…When my life goes through autumn, when all leaves fall and flowers wilt..Suddenly there is spring, and I see a new ray of hope…

Go on with your struggle my friend…I realize that everyone’s childhood will be forgotten…To forget blood relations is difficult…Sin give rise to sin…We are still fighting over the mistake of our past…We still seek blood even for petty issues…Well, when I am mentioning about blood, it makes me wonder, if for this independence thousands of people have shed their blood…Doesn’t that blood have any value in our present??? We are still fighting with our neighbors who were once our brothers…

We are good at acclimatizing to situation…that’s why we accept the change and move on…But are we looking into the brighter side??? We are living in fear…or are we??? The question is why should we???

No we are still happy with what we have got… The media shows the rosy picture but the harsh reality is often OMMITTED…Anything happens or any security breach, THE Government blames  it on the neighbors and we start hating them further and then again we move on…

But is this what an educated developing nation proclaiming it to be a leader should aim for???

The problem is we don’t know what our enemy is…

Our enemy is POVERTY, CORRUPTION, LACK OF PROPER INFORMATION, ILLITERACY, and CASTISM to name a few, which hardly one looks into. The system in our country has lots of loop holes which the politicians give proper shape in order to gain maximum self benefit. The problems created by politics, fights over MANDIR-MASJID-church…The question is, have these stupid things like temples or masjid or church given us the freedom??? Or they have stopped people fighting??? Grow up Indians, Grow up!!! Faith is inside and not in architechture or place. Its only PEOPLE who MATTER… recently saw two political parties fighting over stupid flag hoisting in JAMMU AND KASHMIR…some peace shit was organized…My question is why don’t they go to DANTEWAADA with their rally??? Why not go to the jungles and fight for rights of people who are slowly but surely going into NAXALISM due to neglect of the Government…

We take pride in having around 10 people among the top 50 RICHEST PEOPLE of the WORLD but what we forget is that, around 60% people EAT ONE TIME A DAY.. They cant even manage proper food... Still we say we are leaders. We forget that Onions are sold at Rs60 per kg and petrol at Rs 60 per lit. Yes we are good at acclimatizing to situation. The funny side of it was rightly coined by my friend ADITYA in his Facebook post “For the first time in the history of mankind "Need", "Comfort" and "Luxury" are sold at same price in India! Onions Rs.65, Petrol Rs.65 and Beer Rs.65!!!” And we still fight for blood...Blood has become cheaper...Life now costs less than food...

It's time to think and look into the bigger picture...


"PICTURE ABHI BAKI HAI MERE DOST" before we call ourselves to be a part of a developed nation...

 It gives me immense pleasure to think of the possibility to rectify our mistakes…But are we game for it???

You!!!

As you go through each day, you discover yourself a new…

You find yourself reacting to situations in a totally unexpected way,

You find, you surprise yourself more than you surprise others…

You find yourself changing…

For better or worse…

Somewhere, come time, you are given an opportunity to prove yourself,

To show the World that you can Justify your existence on Earth…

And as you go through life, trying to prove your mettle...

You will find something withing you shifting, moving or even changing…

And as you tread this new path…

Don’t ever change the Convictions that are right…

Don’t ever change the Habits that are good…

Don’t ever Compromise on your Principles…

For if your Values and Conviction, your Courage and Dreams are taken away from you,

                There’s  no YOU!!!

Now that it's over!!!

I’m looking down now that it’s over....Reflecting on all of my 


mistakes...I thought I found the road to somewhere...but I was


mistaken...the walls are cold and pale...the cage made of steal..


I hear a thunder in the distance...


So I am holding my head up high...hiding hate that burns 


inside...Which only fuels their selfish pride...!!!

Natha or Jessica???

Well "PEEPLI LIVE" n "NO ONE KILLED JESSICA"...two faces of media...one being d ideal case..i mean d role media shuld play...as in jessica.....n d other BEING D REAL FACE OF MEDIA in INDIA as highlighted in PEEPLI....MEDIA PERSONS JUST DONT GO FOR TRP... U HV D MICROFONE...DNT MISUSE IT...aS...
"YOU CAN LEAD A NATION WITH A MICROFONE!!...