I
turned thirty one today.
Thirty
plus One.
Who
cares?????
However,
I am starting to realize that thirty one has its place.
My
twenties were for picking things up, putting things down AND RUNNING AFTER THE
RICHES as a result of the new found Financial Independence. It was a decade of
entering professional life, risky behaviour,
confident assertions, job shifts and five year plans which never worked and a
failed marriage. Many moments to cherish, lots of mistakes and an incident which
completely made me what I am today.
Being
just a year in, I can already tell that the thirties will be the decade of
negotiation, the decade of surrender, the decade of important decisions in life
which would either make or break my career and a hope to find Someone Special
who will take me away from the pain of the Past.
Thirties,
it’s no longer a question of whether my chalked out plans will take shape or
not but whether I actually want the things I penned into my five-year plans,
and if so, what I’m willing to give up to get them.
As
a divorced, issue less thirty something man, the thirties can be a treacherous
and beautiful. Whether I am used to being lonely or whether someone would come
into my life and sway me away to the greener pastures. The question is yet to
be answered-Who have I grown into and is this who I want to continue to be?
The
thirties is the decade of negotiating my most precious resource, my attention
and my courage. It is the age of deciding what to ignore and what to dive into.
Whether my vulnerability will become my courage or be my weakness. Questions
like these are no longer a Null Hypothesis but will have to be directly answered
by the very minutes of how I spend my life.
Do
I aim for a bigger career — or just a bigger pay check???
If
I seek a soul mate once again, what to look for??? And most importantly how to
start everything once again-the expectations which I need to meet.
My
priorities changed after divorce but again things need to be re-prioritized. A
mountain to climb but knowing myself, it won’t be difficult.
Do
I identify as a writer who works as a piping & hydraulics specialist or
just a piping & hydraulics specialist who also writes? Does it matter?
The
way thirty delightfully whizzed past me, I can tell that my entire thirties could
end up as a breathless blur; like the gap of white space between a before and
after photo between the twenties and forties: grow my career,
write-write-write, get married, buy a house, have kids, invest, money into
retirement, consider selling house, and it goes on and on. Aaaahhhhhhhh......!!!
I’ve
fully claimed my space among the joys of adulthood, but I also realize that
being a full-fledged grownup requires the high price of my attention. The
danger of the thirties is that I doze off as I get lulled into a rhythm of
earning, expanding and acquiring. Sleepwalking through my thirties will give me
that same bitter cocktail of chagrin and remorse I once felt when I found out
that someone had an affair and moved out of my life making an absolute idiot
out of me in the society?
Still
early in my thirties, I feel loyal to the twenty something lively, smiling,
determined and loving twenty year old me
while also acknowledging the deliciousness of slowing down .
This
next decade will be about which parts of me get refined and which get
sacrificed among the embers.
My
most sincere wish for my thirties is that, however I choose to spend my
attention, I stay conscious of my choices and that I live my days; maybe not every day, but most day.
I
just want to EMBRACE everything that COMES IN THE OFFING “ With ARMS WIDE OPEN!!!.”
Cheers
!!!
